Disclaimer time again: I am writing this as I would a diary entry based on MY own experience. I try not to get too technical but, I will add informative bits and pieces that have helped me (as well as my patients) although this should not be considered as medical advice. If you wish to have a formal consultation with bespoke guidance and information then please get in touch to book a consultation. Otherwise I hope whoever reads this understands that they are not alone and that help is at hand, even for rage!

I am writing this as I sit with my top jean button unfastened (more on this in the next post) which is also a new thing for me, alongside the rage but then again it is another reason for rage or anger or irritability, anyway you get the point – I am pissed off! This has been another symptom that I have possibly been in denial about because, well lets face it, it is often spoken of as a sign of PMS and other conditions that are affected by an imbalance of hormones. Having said that, it was the ‘intensity’ with how it progressed that led me to the point of finally addressing it.

Let me explain by providing examples. At this point in time there is a young woman eating crisps in that annoying mouth-open way, 2 tables away from me in a cafe and I want to slap her in the face (of course I won’t but the URGE is overwhelming) Don’t judge! Another example is my husband, whom I love very much, but if he continues to slurp his coffee something will be thrown in his direction. Anyhoo, there are many other situations that I have felt like throwing something or screaming but until now, I have kept myself together but I know all too well from some women that I have treated that some situations can easily get out of hand, even if it is only happening in your head.

Now let me be clear, anger is a natural emotion and like all emotions we need to feel them, process them and release them in a healthy way that allows us to move forward. Or at least, this would be the healthy and mature way of dealing with it, right? Hanging onto these things only hurts us in the long run and most certainly causes ill health! But for myself, it sometimes comes out of nowhere and then I lose myself in the moment – is it just me? I can be having a normal day minding my own business and then boom – someone starts tapping their foot loudly to music they are listening to and all I see is red….wtf! Right, time to break this down……

In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the liver is the organ associated with anger or irritability and is also one of the organs associated with hormonal imbalances and particularly implicated in peri- and menopause. The liver is associated with the wood element which is about growth and expansion in both physical and spiritual aspects. And usually, anger is our natural response to an interruption or blockage to the liver’s role in growth, direction and expansion. It stands to reason, therefore, that when we feel stuck or without direction, a sense of anger and indeed rage may develop. Most of my patients who are going through peri- and menopause are experiencing some kind of ‘stuck’ feeling at this time, we are either at an age where our children are leaving home, we are or have just come out of a divorce or relationship split, or are looking after elderly parents or family members. Essentially, we are looking after everyone else as we carry a huge weight on our shoulders (emotionally more so) and coming to the end of the day or week with not much energy or love for ourselves – sound familiar?

So what can we do about it?

There are a couple of ways you can look at this, or at least I have gone about this in 2 parts. Firstly, think about what you are angry about and whether it merits that much focus and attention. For me personally, it went like this – ‘does my husbands snoring really deserve murderous thoughts?’ – well yes because in that moment you want to sleep but THIS MAN!!! – but I love my husband so NO! Instead, I leave the room and make myself a tea, take deep breaths and then back I go. And, this has been a lesson for me in how I REACT to things outside of me and my thoughts. I cannot control anything outside of myself but I can control how I react. Don’t get me wrong, this realisation did not happen overnight and I still get angry, but now I am not as quick to overwhelm or seeing red, as in want to slap someone or scream for instance. Does that make sense? Needless to say, its a daily practice and some days I fail miserably (and I retreat into my cave) but mostly, I remember what I need to do and I breathe, or I walk away.

The second way is to deal with it in a physiological sense, and by that I mean I treat my liver. As I mentioned before our power organ or the ‘General’ as it is known in Traditional Chinese Medicine’ is our liver and it is responsible for the smooth flow of Qi (vital energy), balancing and detoxifying hormones and other molecules, secretion of bile, helping in regulating our nervous system and so much more. Hence, I have taken to some liver love with some gentle yet powerful herbs.

I am writing this in spring so it is a wonderful time to be inspired with what is around us and for me what is particularly useful and hugely underrated is dandelion. The roots of this humble weed are used traditionally for liver detoxification, blood purification and increasing circulation among many other actions. Another favourite of mine is burdock, helpful in cholesterol regulation, blood sugar balancing and is even said to prevent against certain cancers. Additionally is nettle which absolutely packs a punch! It is a wonderful anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, antihistamine, nutritive and many more. All of these 3 are gentle but effective in cleansing without overburdening the system or the liver. They might seem simple or just weeds in most minds, but this is simply not so! I use these as my ‘base’ if you like in my formula and then add others as are appropriate to me. Herbs are awesome!

Practically speaking, there things that we can avoid or cut down on that have been said to aggravate the liver and therefore have an impact on how we deal with things emotionally, such as caffeine, smoking, alcohol (especially red wine), spicy foods and processed or overly fatty foods – deep fried and such. Now lets be sensible, I am not saying that you should stop drinking red wine because I certainly won’t ( I love it I won’t lie ) BUT, I have found personally that I was using it to fix how I was feeling. I had a bad day – wine, I was stuck in traffic – wine etc etc and this is not the way to go as it becomes a vicious circle. I now consciously drink wine to enjoy it and socialise with the people I love. Again, a work in progress for me but I have definitely found an improvement in how I feel when I don’t reach for wine in order to escape! The work continues……

Next up…… Where did that spare tyre come from?